As i'm ill i'm doing pharmaceutical product reviews & posting them on official review sites. Enjoy
#1 'Tyrozets' dual action throat lozenges:
Effectively numb your tongue for about 3 minutes, whilst maintaining high levels of throat pain. I'm impressed with the sheer wankiness of this product. A cheaper alternative to replicate how i feel would be to stick your tongue up a dog's bum & gargle glass.
score: Felch/10
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#2 Halls Soothers (Blackcurrant flavour)
Like McDonalds, the VERY first taste is loooovely, but then all the other shit starts to come through which wipes the smile of your face. With McDonalds you KNOW it’s bad for you, but the Soothers’ negative undertones are good for you, right?? HANG ON A SECOND!!! It doesn’t say anywhere that these are medicinal?!?! On closer inspection, these are… ‘sweets’… Whaaaaaaaaaat????? Well… who makes them?? Boots?? Glaxo Smithkline?? [googles]
CADBURYS!!!! Or for fu…
Score: Deception/10
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#3 Day Nurse, Night Nurse combo pack
The Day Nurse capsules actually calmed me down from my state of delirium… maybe a placebo, but we’ll give science some credit. I stopped feeling restless and my headache jogged on… And then it was time… for NIGHT NURSE!! Oh how excited I was, this shizzle ‘really knocks you out’ according to el pharmacisto. After not sleeping for more than 4 hours over the past few days I couldn’t wait.
And then: nothing.
I was left to endure another night of restless, painful, shifting, eternal coughing and moaning. It was like spending a night making love to the Queen.
Score: Nettles/10
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